Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Separation of Church and State II

As we know, the Founding Fathers erected a Wall of Separation Between Church and State, assuring forever that there would be absolutely no mixing of religion and politics whatsoever in anywayshapeorform, nosirreebob. The Founders knew that once you let God out of the closet, it's a slippery slope to a theocracy, where God is everywhere: on public buildings; in the Congress; in the Courts; and even in the Whitehouse, itself.

Unfortunately, despite the critical importance of maintaining this Wall, inexplicably the phrase "separation of church and state" is not mentioned anywhere in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. A similar glaring omission occurred in recording the Sacred Right to Filibuster (the 14th commandment).

Because of this oversight there are loopholes in the law that allow religous zealots to jeopardize religious freedom by exercising it. It would be bad enough if they engaged in this behavior in private, but many of them insist on exposing themselves to others who are uncomfortable with this.

Don't Ask Don't Tell may be the law of the land for these wierdos, but there are clear lines that mustn't be crossed under any circumstances. Because it is sometimes hard to discern what behaviors are permitted and which are forbidden, we offer this helpful table to our readers.

Forbidden Behavior
Permitted Behavior
Republican Senator giving speech in a church
Democratic presidential candidates making campaign appearances in southern Black churches
Born Again President Bush
Born Again President Carter
Christian ministers and priests advocating a vote for one candidate over another
Rev. Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson running for president
Allowing faith to inform your views in opposition to abortion
Allowing faith to inform your views in favor of taxing "the rich"
Rev. Jerry Falwell speaking out on issues with conservative views
Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. speaking out on issues
Catholic priests protesting abortion
Catholic priests protesting the Vietnam War
Display of religous symbols or verses in public
Elimination of all religious expression in public
President Bush praying for guidance and wisdom
President Clinton seeking out Rev. Jesse Jackson for "spirtual advice"
Christians urging elected officials to codify their views of morality into laws via legislation
Judges codifying their views of morality into laws by decree.

Should you observe any of the dangerous, forbidden behaviors, report it at once to the ACLU or another office of the Democratic Party. Activities in the Permitted Behavior column are nothing to worry about.

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