Friday, May 20, 2005

You Know You're from The Great American Desert When...

You Know You're From Nebraska When...
"Vacation" means going to Omaha for the weekend.
You use your life savings to go to the Nebraska-Colorado game.
You know the Woodmen Tower is not made of wood.
You know you cannot tube "upstream."
You know what the "sea of red & white" is.
You wake up when it's dark, and go to bed when it's still light.
You can tell it's really a farmer working late in his field, and not a UFO.
You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.
You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in less than 20 seconds.
You fly your American flag at halfmast when the Cornhuskers lose a football game.
You know how to pronounce Beatrice, Norfolk and Kearney.
You think Highway 6 is more scenic that I-80, which you think is the best thing to come out of Iowa.
You don't understand why other states even bother to try raising beef.
You believe that the worst steak in Nebraska is still better than any other steak, anywhere.
You believe that vegetarians should be banned in Nebraska.
You don't have to be told what Aksarben is or that it's Nebraska spelled backward.
You take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial stadium is the third largest city in the state.
Kitty Clover potato chips and Robert's Milk were are the best part of a meal.
You know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed - not bowling.
You know what a Runza is.
You call lunch "dinner" and dinner "supper."
You think it's normal to get a side of spaghetti at a steakhouse.
You avoid Omaha because you're afraid of getting mugged.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Nebraska.

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