Chemistry Jokes

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

An atom walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Boy, do I need a drink. This is the worst day of my life."
"What seems to be the problem?" replies the bartender.
The atom says, "I've lost one of my electrons."
"No," says the bartender, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the atom replied, "I'm positive."

What's the difference between a quantum mechanic and a regular mechanic?
A quantum mechanic can pull his car into the garage without opening the door.*


*Note for the non-chemist: The quantum mechanical principle of "tunneling" allows a system to move between two states separated by an infinitely high energy barrier in certain cases.

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