Thursday, January 19, 2006

Political Glossary

Here are some handy definitions of terms we hear bandied about from time to time. They should help you translate the reports you hear in the MSM or on the Angry Left blogs into actual English.
  • cabal -- any group of more than two conservatives
  • moderate -- liberal, but not liberal enough
  • liberal -- socialist
  • socialist -- communist
  • radical -- conservative
  • reform -- an increase in government power and a reduction in individual autonomy
  • campaign reform -- an increase in the power of incumbents
  • progressive reform -- Hold onto your wallet.
  • out of the mainstream -- among the most conservative 90% of the population
  • Social Security Trust Fund -- a mythical asset but a real liability
  • lockbox -- a pile of money hidden in plain sight, guarded by no one, surrounded by thieves (e.g. "I pledge to keep the Social Security Trust Fund in a lockbox.")
  • risky scheme -- any measure that would increase individual control and responsibility, thereby reducing government power (e.g. "Allowing people to invest some of their Social Security taxes themselves is a risky scheme.")
  • whistleblower -- a courageous government official who reveals a secret, even if untrue, to the press that damages Republicans (e.g. Joe Wilson)
  • leaker -- a criminal government official who reveals a secret to the press that helps Republicans
  • deficit reduction -- tax increases for you and anyone else with any money, more money for Congress to spend
  • fiscal responsibility -- see "deficit reduction"
  • budget cut -- smaller increase than our previous, absurdly optimistic scenario
  • cut to the bone -- a government program that's only growing 10% over last year
  • tax the rich -- go after everybody with money
  • help the poor -- 1) give them plenty of company by making everyone poor; 2) increase dependency on government; 3) buy some votes
  • Tax cut for the rich -- a reduction in tax rates for those who actually pay taxes, resulting more more tax dollars collected from the same group
  • Turn back the clock -- elimination of any government program, no matter how abjectly it has failed
  • reality-based -- creating one's own reality
  • compassionate conservative -- the spending restraint of a drunken sailor
  • Republican lobbyist -- a Democrat lobbyist when the Republicans are in power
  • Democratic agenda -- no known meaning
  • closet bigot -- any Republican who has expressed no controversial opinion on racial issues

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