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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Obama Jokes

There is certainly a dearth of jokes about Obama, although given the things he's said and done there is obviously plenty of material out there. Partly this is because he and his acolytes are so humorless. They're liable to take offense at any joke about Obama they deem to be in bad taste (i.e. any joke). It's almost less risky to make jokes about Mohammed and rely on that famous Muslim sense of humor.

If John McCain or GWB or, Heaven forbid, Dan Quayle had dropped some of the pearls that have fallen from Obama's lips, those words would be staples of late night comedy. So far those comedy jabs that are thrown in Obama's general direction are mainly aimed at the fawning media cloud that surrounds him. Well, at least it's a start.

In view of this critical shortage, we have decided to release some of the Strategic Joke Reserve to alleviate the crisis. As a longer term solution, we favor increasing the domestic production of Obama jokes rather than depending on uncertain foreign supplies from Europe and the Middle East.
Obama's campaign has set new world speed records in its sprint from the far left to the center. He isn't flip flopping or abandoning his principles, though. He just takes a wide stance. When he got to the center, he found himself. Turns out he was the one he was waiting for there.
Unnerved by a tough question from a 7-year old about whether or not war is ever justified, Obama struggled to come up with an answer. Finally, he allowed that he would probably have supported World War II, reluctantly. "After the Germans dropped The Bomb on Pearl Harbor, President Truman really didn't have much choice but to declare war," said the Senator.
As part of the "Spare Change America Can Believe In" program, the Obama campaign today announced a plan to increase the number of states to 62. According to the press release, the plan would add five additional states, "We're going to bring in all three Canadian provinces, plus Alaska and Idahoe."
One reason you hear so few jokes about Obama is the threat of a special, Windbag Profits Tax on profiteers who take advantage of the shortage.
Obama's campaign is really frustrated at the persistent myths and falsehoods that continue to circulate about the candidate. For inexplicable reasons, many people continue to believe that: his middle name is Hussein: as a political gesture he refused to wear a flag pin on his lapel; he and his family went to a church with a nutty, racist pastor for 20 yrs; he thinks Middle Americans cling to their guns, religion and xenophobia; and he hangs around with unrepentant terrorists and crooked real estate developers. Please do your best to set the record straight on these points.
We wrote these jokes, so if you quote them, don't forget to link here. If a simple Nebraska blogger can write Obama jokes in just a few minutes, just think of what dedicated, comedy professionals working full time can accomplish. Now that's change we can believe in.

It's funny, but it's no joke: It seems any criticism of The One is irrefutable evidence that the critic is a racist. Just in case you're wondering where you stand personally, a recent post in The Corner at National Review Online listed 25 signs you might be a racist. Here are the top 10:
1.If you think Obama's the most liberal member of the senate you...may be a racist.
2.If you object to Obama raising your payroll, capital gains and estate taxes you...may be a racist.
3.If you'd prefer a president have at least some foreign policy experience you...may be a racist.
4. If you're in favor of drilling for oil and building nuclear power plants you...may be a racist.
5. If you think "Vero Possemus" is Latin for "Massive Ego" you... may be a racist.
6. If you wonder why Obama was hanging around William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn you...may be a racist.
7. If your pastor is nothing like Rev. Wright or Father Pfleger you... may be a racist.
8.If you don't want the majority of justices on the Supreme Court to be like Stephen Breyer you...may be a racist.
9. If you're not impressed with Obama's 100% NARAL rating you...may be a racist.
10. If you're not sure whether Obama opposed or supported FISA reauthorization you...may be a racist.
To which we'll add: If you make any jokes about any aspect of Obama's policies, speeches, cronies, or general amorphousness, you may be a racist.

UPDATE: Added links to the original incidents inspring the jokes, since not everyone knows them yet.

Post Election Update: There are additional Obama jokes on this blog and elsewhere.

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