Obama's campaign has set new world speed records in its sprint from the far left to the center. He isn't flip flopping or abandoning his principles, though. He just takes a wide stance. When he got to the center, he found himself. Turns out he was the one he was waiting for there.
Unnerved by a tough question from a 7-year old about whether or not war is ever justified, Obama struggled to come up with an answer. Finally, he allowed that he would probably have supported World War II, reluctantly. "After the Germans dropped The Bomb on Pearl Harbor, President Truman really didn't have much choice but to declare war," said the Senator.
As part of the "Spare Change America Can Believe In" program, the Obama campaign today announced a plan to increase the number of states to 62. According to the press release, the plan would add five additional states, "We're going to bring in all three Canadian provinces, plus Alaska and Idahoe."
One reason you hear so few jokes about Obama is the threat of a special, Windbag Profits Tax on profiteers who take advantage of the shortage.
Obama's campaign is really frustrated at the persistent myths and falsehoods that continue to circulate about the candidate. For inexplicable reasons, many people continue to believe that: his middle name is Hussein: as a political gesture he refused to wear a flag pin on his lapel; he and his family went to a church with a nutty, racist pastor for 20 yrs; he thinks Middle Americans cling to their guns, religion and xenophobia; and he hangs around with unrepentant terrorists and crooked real estate developers. Please do your best to set the record straight on these points.
1.If you think Obama's the most liberal member of the senate you...may be a racist.
2.If you object to Obama raising your payroll, capital gains and estate taxes you...may be a racist.
3.If you'd prefer a president have at least some foreign policy experience you...may be a racist.
4. If you're in favor of drilling for oil and building nuclear power plants you...may be a racist.
5. If you think "Vero Possemus" is Latin for "Massive Ego" you... may be a racist.
6. If you wonder why Obama was hanging around William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn you...may be a racist.
7. If your pastor is nothing like Rev. Wright or Father Pfleger you... may be a racist.
8.If you don't want the majority of justices on the Supreme Court to be like Stephen Breyer you...may be a racist.
9. If you're not impressed with Obama's 100% NARAL rating you...may be a racist.
10. If you're not sure whether Obama opposed or supported FISA reauthorization you...may be a racist.
UPDATE: Added links to the original incidents inspring the jokes, since not everyone knows them yet.
Post Election Update: There are additional Obama jokes on this blog and elsewhere.